


Aftermath of I Am My Monster

by addietheoddie



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Bath, Comfort/Angst, Family, Post-Episode: s06e19 I Am My Monster, Pre-Episode: s06e20 The Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:28:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23532355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addietheoddie/pseuds/addietheoddie
Summary: Following the events of I Am My Monster, Steven and the Gems discuss healing and recovering together.Or: The Gems give Steven a bath.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 100





	Aftermath of I Am My Monster

**Author's Note:**

> This is a 30-minute read, so please bookmark this for later if you don’t have the time. I hope you enjoy!

His body ached terribly. No little movement went painless, each muscle strained and pulled from the ferocious physically tolling event of that early morning. 

When evening came, the Gems prepared Steven a bath. 

It made sense, of course. Having carried the feeble boy around the beach home the entirety of the day, it was apparent the extent of physical exhaustion he was experiencing. So much, in fact, that merely walking left him breathless. It was then that Garnet suggested a bath. Perhaps it was from prior experience with him as a child, giving him warm baths after he’d been crying hard—which crying, in any case, would leave anybody feeling physically drained. Albeit those times were far less to the severity of what happened earlier today, they did give some insight on how to possibly manage this current situation. Moreover, who doesn’t like a warm bath? 

So they picked up from there. Eight o’clock rolled around, and the bathtub was filled to the near brim with warm, bubbly, lavender-scented water. A soft towel was folded ever so delicately on the counter, alongside a fresh set of clean pyjamas—props to Pearl and her consistent perfectionism. And after a little while’s wait, in came Garnet carrying the very restless Steven himself, still wrapped in the same cyan sheet he woke up in earlier that day. His eyes fought to stay open with what little strength he had left from corruption rattling his entire body. Following the fusion was Amethyst, whose eyes kept steady on the boy resting gently over Garnet’s shoulder. By the counter was the lithe gem, Pearl, still fruitlessly folding the articles of clothing. Her eyes were full of heavy relief seeing Steven again, as though stars forbid he could vanish when out of her sight. 

The group steadily approached the bathtub, and a worrisome silence followed as Garnet gently lifted Steven from her shoulder, slowly lulling him down into the water before successfully seating him, removing the now-soaked sheet and hanging it over the nearby towel rack. Right away, Pearl was proud to see the boy so calm and smiled warmly at him, before stepping over and reaching for a loofah. As she did this, Amethyst was gathering some more bath soap, while Garnet was gathering the hair products and kneeling down by the side of the tub. 

Ultimately, Steven’s gaze fixated on the fusion as he heard the click of a shampoo bottle opening, followed by the sudden army of a sweet, floral aroma filling the air. He watched as the pink concoction poured into her palm, then placing the bottle down and rubbing both palms together—with special thanks to Ruby and Sapphire’s gems for setting the shampoo’s temperature—and within seconds, her fingers were tenderly combing through his unruly locks, spreading the cool shampoo through his hair and massaging his scalp with such a gentleness that nearly swayed him asleep. There was a slight chuckle from the fusion, who watched Steven’s heavy eyelids weighing down with both exhaustion and relaxation. 

As this technique was implemented, Pearl was next to kneel down, coming over to Garnet’s side and dunking the loofah into the soapy water, before bringing it up and scrubbing gentle circles along Steven’s back. Ultimately, however, there were some poor responses to this coming from the boy, whose back still stung terribly from the first eruption of his body morphing. Albeit there were no injuries or scars, it still seemed to hurt—like phantom pains to an amputee. Of course, Pearl was quick to stop and apologise in a frenzy, before setting the loofah down and opting to use her hands, which seemed to lessen the sensation he had priorly responded to. And after a while, any lingering trace of pain seemed to cease entirely—so much so, she found herself freely massaging his back and shoulders, effectively melting away the tension in his muscles. 

Amethyst, of course, was doing her own thing. While Garnet and Pearl both washed Steven’s hair and back, the purple gem was fussing with bottles of bath soap, continuing to add more and mixing them up to build what looked like hills and mountains of foam. She wasn’t too great with physical affection, alas, but if goofy entertainment was of any help, she was certainly right on it. It wasn’t long before she was making soap moustaches and beards, earning a good laugh from the other three. Amethyst was always the one to goof around whenever the Gems gave Steven a bath as a child. And oftentimes, she and Steven would actually play with bubble soap when Garnet and Pearl weren’t around... of course, only to get busted. But it was always a great time, and they certainly shared many fond memories of running from the Gems with clumps of soap foam on their chins. 

After a while of shampoo being massaged into his scalp, Garnet paused and rested one hand under Steven’s chin, tilting his head back before cupping some water with her other palm and slowly pouring it over his foamy hair. The sensation of the warm rivers cascading through his scalp and behind his ears, accompanied with the sounds of water echoing off the walls of the tub, was an exceptionally calming one. This, as well as Pearl rinsing the soap off his back with a plastic bath mug, eventually moving on to scrub his arms with the previously discarded loofah. He had nearly forgotten just how nice baths were. Especially the baths he use to have as a child. Understandably with everything that’d been going on, he hardly had the time or motivation to shower, never mind take a bath. And especially now, he was far too weak to even walk steadily. But the Gems had been so maternal and protective to Steven over the rest of the day; they’d been preparing big family meals, watching classic movies, playing puzzles and board games, and simply providing him some much-needed company and love. Their help was so, so appreciated, it could have brought a tear to his eye. Or, it probably did, seeing as Garnet rubbed her thumb over his cheek for a brief second or two. But he preferred to think it was just a bit of shampoo on his face. 

Communication among the four of them became a roaring storm of conversation after some time. It started up when Pearl commented on the seemingly never-ending rain outside, to which Steven remarked its gloominess. “Think of it like the Earth is a flower seed,” Garnet would tell him, proceeding to squeeze some conditioner into her palms before placidly combing it through his scalp, “and the clouds are a watering can. We’re being watered so we can sprout and grow.”

“Like those bee balms by the mailbox!” Pearl would add on while lathering soap up and down Steven’s left arm. “Oh, those poor things would hardly grow if there wasn’t any rain. I bet they’re just so happy with the rainfall right now; plants need water just as much as sunshine!” 

Amethyst snickered, dunking her hands under the water to lift up some of the soap clumps. “Wow, P, I didn’t know plants could be ‘so happy.’ Have you been hanging out in Peridot’s horticulture class too much or somethin’?”

“Oh, please.” Pearl gave a somewhat snark chuckle, rolling her eyes. “Certainly not as much as you’ve been ‘hanging out’ in Blue Lace’s culinary class. Besides, I think plants are fascinating!” 

Garnet hummed, tilting Steven’s head back again to rinse his hair. “As a matter of fact, plants can feel. They have responses to stimuli similarly to a human’s nervous system.” 

Amethyst‘s eyebrows knitted together. “What, so they feel pain and stuff?” 

“Not pain, but touch.” The fusion tentatively cupped some more water in her palm, steadily pouring it on the crown of Steven’s head. “They can feel when you touch them, but they can’t feel what humans feel as pain. They don’t have pain receptors. But they do have pressure receptors.”

The purple gem smirked. “Wow, Garnet, I didn’t know you were a nerd. And just where did you learn all this stuff?”

“Peridot’s horticulture class.” 

“Oh—you guys are lame!” Amethyst snorted and shoved Garnet’s shoulder, earning a low chuckle from the fusion and a hardy laugh from Pearl. Steven seemed to smile lightly, but his attention was a bit more fixated on the narrow window over the toilet, catching a few pitter-pattering rain drops here and there on its glass. 

Of course, Pearl was quick to pick up on his silence, steadily transitioning the foamy loofah from his left arm to his right. “Is something the matter, Steven?” 

Amethyst’s smile dropped. “Ay, if you’re afraid of thunderstorms, we can close the blinds.” 

“No, it’s not that.” Steven blinked. And for a moment, he wasn’t quite sure what it was that was making him feel so... disconnected? Was that the word? Well, if morphing and growing into a massive corrupted monster was any indicator of his distress, then there was his answer. But wasn’t he alright now? He was relaxed, right? 

“We’re here, Steven,” Garnet’s voice brought him out of his thoughts. “You can talk to us.” 

Steven’s mind fogged. “I just feel... I feel... I’m...? I don’t know.” His shoulders shrugged in defeat, an uncanny glint of hopelessness in those cocoa brown eyes. He could feel their gazes exchanging among one another worriedly, and even with the aroma of lavender and the comforts of the water, he was no longer so relaxed. “I don’t know. I’m just... so tired. I feel so miserable.” 

There was a silence. An uncomfortable one, at that. But a slight breath from Garnet was enough to cut that short, followed by a gentle palm resting tentatively on his back. “This is a lot right now. But we will pull through it together. We are here with you, Steven.” 

“That’s right,” Pearl augmented, setting the loofah down to focus her attention on him. “I know it feels desolate and scary right now, but... we’re here. Everything will be alright. Maybe not right now, maybe not tomorrow—stars, maybe not even a month from now. But I promise—Steven, I promise you, it will be alright again.” As per usual with any speech she gives, Pearl rested a hand firmly on his shoulder and smiled warmly at him. 

Amethyst added to this confidently, “Like Garnet said with the whole flower thing: I mean, yeah, rain sucks. It’s dull and sad and stuff, but hey! At least the flowers grow from it, right? Like, even when it’s cold and snowy too, the flowers always come back in the spring, don’t they?” She leaned against the side of the tub, fussing around with some of the bubbles again. “So I guess just... think of yourself like a flower? I mean, it’s not like you’re stuck feeling like this forever. You’ll always feel better again—and it’s not like rain and winter last forever, because spring is always gonna happen again, y’know?” 

The other three stared back at her in an onslaught of silence. Of course, this bombardment of reassurance was enough to well-up a thick shimmer in Steven’s eyes, but Amethyst’s turn of reassurance was... definitely something else. Especially coming from her, a gem who is gosh-awful at sentimentalism and emotional speeches. 

“Amethyst, that was... very sentimental of you.” 

The purple gem froze up, a slight tint of red littering her face as she turned away from the stares. “What, geez—I’m just sayin’.” 

“Well, we appreciate the symbolism.” Garnet sent a sly grin her way. “But I can only assume you’ve been sitting in on Jade’s creative writing class.” 

“Wha—No, I haven’t!” 

The four of them laughed in unison, all while Amethyst was splashing water out of the tub towards Garnet—with Pearl’s frantic lecturing about getting the floor wet, of course. Eventually as things settled down, though, the bathing resumed. Pearl was once again picking up the abandoned loofah and coming around Garnet’s other side to resume her previous duties, diligently working her way over to cleaning Steven’s chest and neck. Garnet was twisting open a leave-in hair mask and dabbing some onto her hands, before applying it to Steven’s hair and combing it through the dark coils. Amethyst was... well, once again, building creations out of soap bubbles. Only this time, she kept a firm, yet comedic eye on Garnet for having called her out so openly. Family antics, as Pearl would formally call it from time to time. It was nice to share these smiles and laughs together, though. The familial bonding was exceptionally good for Steven, too. They could always be serious and talk on deeper subjects, but the smiles and laughs would be a constant must. 

As their routines continued on smoothly, conversation began to buzz again. Only this time, it started from Amethyst. “So, what’dya wanna do later, Steven? I mean, after you’re out of the bath and stuff.” 

Before Steven could think up an answer, Pearl interjected, “Well, we could always watch another movie! I’ve been really enjoying those classic Disney films—oh, especially that Charlie Brown Christmas special!”

Amethyst smirked. “Pearl, Charlie Brown isn’t Disney.” 

“It isn’t?” 

“Or we could read you a story,” Garnet suggested, a slight shrug of her shoulders indicating some hesitance behind the statement. 

“Or play video games! I’ve been meaning to try that new Switch game with you, bud. Y’know, the crossing animal one with the island and stuff?” 

“Are you sure Charlie Brown isn’t Disney?” 

“Guys, guys,” Steven chortled at them with a gentle smile. “We can do all those things, but... I’m kinda tired tonight. Can we just... do all that tomorrow?” 

There were some exchanged glances among the Gems, before a smile charmed Garnet’s face. “Of course. We wouldn’t want you losing any sleep.” 

“Oh, goodness no!” Pearl breathed a light-hearted chuckle while picking up the plastic bath mug, rinsing the soap off Steven’s neck and chest. “You should get plenty of rest tonight, Steven. I wouldn’t want you staying up late—but I do insist you sleep in! Your body is far too fatigued; the last thing you need is sleep deprivation.” 

The purple gem added, “Plus, you totally don’t wanna be super tired tomorrow! We’re going to that Bayburg Inn for breakfast, remember?” 

“Oh—that’s right!” Pearl’s eyes widened in surprise. “I’m so silly, I completely forgot! Connie’s mother told me about that place; I hear they’ve got a very wide selection of nutritional meals! We should probably get there by... ten? Eleven, maybe? Oh, hopefully it’s not too crowded.” 

“Shouldn’t be,” Garnet reassured with a slight adjustment of her visor. “They’re only busy in the afternoon.” 

Amethyst chuckled, “Well, duh. Everybody’s working in the morning, of course nobody’s going to a restaurant on a Wednesday morning... I mean, except for us.” 

“I’ll be sure to get enough sleep, then.” Steven gazed over to the small window again, trying to determine the amount of rain by the speed of raindrops on the glass. It seemed to be settling down, he figured. “Hopefully, the weather’s nice tomorrow, too.” 

Pearl brightened up a bit. “Oh, certainly! My weather application predicted a very decently sunny day with highs in the fifties!” 

Steven’s brow raised. “Fifties? Isn’t it a little early for fifties? It’s still February.” 

“Well, don’t jinx it, dude.” Amethyst tipped over one of the soap clumps, swishing it around with all the other mounds of foam. “Plus, like, global warming. What’d you expect?” 

“Well, you’ve got me there,” Steven chuckled lightly, returning his attention to the bath as Garnet tilted his head back to wash the hair mask off. It had to have been the lulling warmth of the water that triggered an overwhelming wave of fatigue, his eyes closing shut momentarily after Garnet tilted his head forward again. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired before, my gosh...” 

Pearl’s motherly instinct kicked in right away as she coed to him, “Oh, it’s alright, Steven. Just give us a minute to finish up and we’ll get you into bed shortly, okay?” 

“You can rest your eyes, Steven.” The fusion held a hand on the back of his head, a glint of worry in her visor as she took precautions to ensure he wouldn’t fall over. As a few seconds passed and Steven silenced, Garnet looked over to Pearl and Amethyst with a quieter tone. “Let’s wrap things up.” 

Soon enough, all three of the Gems were holding plastic bath mugs, filling them with water and pouring them over Steven’s shoulders and back. The teen didn’t hesitate to adhere Garnet’s words, giving in to the weight on his eyelids and letting them rest shut, howbeit still trying to remain conscious for the time being. It wasn’t too long before the Gems had finished up, and as the sounds of pouring water faded to a stop, he felt two hands firmly scoop under his arms and lift him from the tub—Garnet, he thought—and not a moment later being swaddled snug in a soft towel. His skin was thoroughly welcomed to bitter cold air, but the discomfort was only temporary once Garnet’s gemstones began to radiate a cozy warmth through the towel. “There we are,” he heard her mumble calmly. He settled his head nicely over her shoulder, a new sense of calmness overtaking him. 

His eyes periodically opened and closed, and a few memories of the next couple minutes were clipped. At some point, he somehow managed to get his pyjamas on, and he was pretty sure he brushed his teeth as well, guessing from the flavour of toothpaste in his mouth. Everything became a haze from there, but when he opened his eyes again, he was suddenly headed upstairs. The weight of Garnet’s ascending footsteps jostled him up and down slightly in her arms, before the group of them were approaching his mattress. While his eyelids still hung low, he remained awake as the Gems lied him down into bed, firmly tucking his blankets around him to keep his fatigued body warm. He blinked again, just as a kiss was planted on his forehead, and after another blink, the Gems were headed back down the stairs—

“Wait.” 

They stopped, turning their heads. He didn’t know how or when he did it, but he managed to sit himself up, and the lingering disconnection of time seemed to diminish completely as a sudden sense of alertness and desperation was hinted, both in his tone of voice and the expression on his face. “Can... can you guys stay?” 

Some short seconds of consideration passed, but it didn’t take much time before they were all flooding back over to him. The mattress first creaked under Garnet’s weight, who sat herself down by Steven’s right side and stretched her legs out along the bed, crossing her ankles and leaning back against the wall. Pearl was the next to follow, coming over to the left side and taking a seat next to Steven, slender hands instinctively smoothing out the wrinkled duvet. And lastly was Amethyst, who effectively hopped up and shape-shifted into a cat, plopping down by Steven’s feet and kneading the blankets quietly. 

Right away, he was feeling better. The teen slid back down into bed, resting his head on his pillow as Pearl reached over to tug his blanket up to his nose, hoping to keep him as comfortable as possible. Amethyst’s kneading seemed to silence after some time, and Steven felt the slight shift of her weight by his feet as she, too, lied down and curled up. Garnet’s gemmed hand patted Steven’s head gently as he closed his eyes, trying to focus on sleep: the one thing his body had been aching for ever since they first entered the bathroom...

But it wasn’t working. 

Just as he had gotten comfortable, the realisation and guilt of everything he’d done came whiplashing him in the face. Hard. The sickening, nauseating guilt of every little mistake and every little error he’d ever made came back to suffocate him, just as he finally tried to drift off to sleep. More specifically, the events of earlier that morning. Breaking down, turning into a monster, putting everyone in danger... he was so ashamed. And the thoughts wouldn’t leave, no matter his efforts to push them off

Steven opened his eyes after a silence of maybe a half an hour or so. His gaze darting around to observe the others: Pearl was quietly reading a book, Amethyst was fast asleep, and Garnet was... well, the same. And he was, too, in a way. He could feel a slight heaviness on his chest as his eyes fixated on the slanted ceiling, counting the glow-in-the-dark stars. But as time went on, he just couldn’t find the means to carry this feeling of dread any longer. So, he opened his mouth. 

“I’m sorry.” 

In an instant, the calmness of his bedroom turned to sharp tension. Pearl lowered her book and looked over at him, Amethyst lifted her head up from her deep slumber, and Garnet tilted her head downwards to him. Steven’s chest filled with a steadily rising guilt, and he pushed himself upwards, sitting with slacked shoulders and a terribly poor posture. Pearl said something, but he couldn’t recognise what it was, because he was already starting to say something himself. “I’m sorry for what I did today. I shouldn’t have put you all in danger like—“

“Steven, don’t you dare apologise.” 

His head whipped over to the stern voice, meeting his gaze with Garnet’s tinted visor. He watched defeatedly as she raised a hand, tapping her visor away as it vanished completely, a few star particles flickering afterwards. Those three, iridescent eyes were full of emotion, so much unlike those stoic star-shaped shades. “You do not need to feel responsible for anything.” 

“But—“

“No,” Amethyst interjected, who was now more than awake, “you are NOT taking responsibility for that, Steven. You’re not responsible for any of that.” 

“But I—“

“You’re allowed to prioritise yourself, Steven,” Pearl added on firmly, closing her book and setting it down to the side. “You know your feelings and needs are important, too—“

“This is THE WORST thing I’ve ever done!!” 

The Gems silenced. 

Steven continued, “I’ve done so many terrible things, but—this, by far, was the most horrible thing I’ve ever done. Out of—out of every stupid mistake I’ve made, this was /the/ worst.” His chest shuddered with the effort to breathe steadily, his lungs shaky and strained. “How am I suppose to forgive myself for this? How am I suppose to make up for this?!”

“Steven—“

“How am I suppose to do /anything/ anymore?!” The weight on his chest intensified tenfold, his eyes beginning to sting. “I can’t do anything! I can’t!! I can’t eat because I don’t have an appetite, I can’t watch TV because the loud noises scare me, I can’t sleep because I’m scared of getting trapped in sleep paralysis or an awful dream—I can’t even bathe myself anymore! Why is everything so /hard/-“ Steven choked off, inhaling sharply before continuing tremulously, “-Why is it so hard to just—exist?! Everything use to be so easy! Taking care of myself came so naturally! But now, I can hardly do the small things that any basic functioning person can do. I’m just a useless wreck—!!” He swallowed hard as his voice faltered, trying again to push down the lump in his throat. Only, this time, it felt much larger than before. He shuddered, his head lowering as a few of the trapped tears eventually trickled their way out, even in spite of his strenuous efforts to hold them back. “What happened to me...”

A silence furiously brewed in the air, with exception to Steven’s quiet, unstable breaths. He couldn’t see their faces, and he didn’t quite want to, either. Instead, he kept his gaze glued to the blankets in his lap, biting his tongue to fight off the urge to wail like a child. 

Garnet was the first to move. He hadn’t quite prepared himself for it, but within seconds, two warm, maternal arms were coming around from behind him, lulling him close to her body. He initially tried to push away, but once he was being cradled safely to her chest, he stilled. And it didn’t take much longer before Pearl and Amethyst followed along, leaning over to embrace the boy and cocoon him in all six familial arms. He wanted to push away, to tell them they were wrong to comfort him, to frantically tell them he was sorry, but any attempt to open his mouth restricted his throat. He tried numerous times, and each time he shamefully sunk deeper into the welcoming warmth of his family’s loving hug. 

It took every fibre of his being not to crack, a dreadful sense of helplessness overtaking him as his body tingled and trembled. His nose was running and sniffling furiously, and his breaths were shorter and shallower, and his throat was closing up, and he couldn’t /breathe/. And then, by the fourth attempt to open his mouth—this time in dire attempts to gasp for oxygen—he lost the strength to fight it off any longer. The breath came out in a choked sob. The warm tears let themselves flood down his cheeks without hesitation, hazing his vision and dribbling from his chin. And after a couple of more strained cries, he finally broke. In an instant far too startling, a violent, wracking bellow came hurdling from the core of his throat, shaking his entire being from head to toe. The arms around him tightened, and so did his muscles as his entire body contracted and exerted every bit of strength left to force out his boisterous wails. It was incredibly painful, to say the mere least. 

And they simply stayed like that. There were no hushes or reassuring words, only physical comfort and security. They didn’t interrupt him or insist he not cry. They let him vent, they let him cry. They listened to his pain and they held him tighter, reaffirming him physically that they were there, they were listening, and they were not going anywhere. As each sob was harsher than the other, there were arms holding him closer, fingers combing his hair, hands rubbing his back and shoulders, and the most serene warmth of his family swaddling around him. 

He wasn’t sure how long he cried. The span of time became a blur at that point as he focused solely on feeling awful and exerting those horrendous sobs. His mind was thinking back on so many things, too many to count. Thinking back on when he was a child, and the carefree sense of being that, and the constant ability to live in the moment, and the smiles and laughter, and the video games and sand castles and tire swings. Thinking back on what took that away, what made him so unhappy, and why he couldn’t just go back. Thinking back on the mistakes he’d made, the errors he made, the many apologies he spit out on behalf of the most toxic people out there who didn’t deserve his empathy. Every horrible thing was venting out through his cries, and while his body was trembling and aching and tense, it was the most relieving thing. 

Steven couldn’t recall how he calmed down after such a heavy release of emotions, but gradually, his sobs died down. Albeit it took quite some time, he was eventually settled again, drifting steadily from bellows, to sobs, to soft cries, and now, to hitched breaths and sniffles. The hugs and hair-combing didn’t cease for another couple of minutes as they stayed huddled together listening to the boy’s stifled hiccups. And quite frankly, Steven didn’t feel like moving. He felt so safe in their arms, so secure and protected. He just wanted to stay there. Because for the first time in a long time, he felt... light. He didn’t feel any weight on his chest or shoulders. He felt so light and weightless. 

Just as he allowed his raw, swollen eyes to open, he felt his weight being shifted around, still assumably locked in Garnet’s embrace as Pearl sat up to readjust the blankets and Amethyst—who shape-shifted out of her cat form at some point during his crazy venting—got up to grab some more quilts from his closet. He blinked through the misty tears, watching Pearl lie down to his left and Amethyst toss more quilts on the bed. He eventually recognised through the confusion of his unstable mind that they were lying down with him, and his prior fears of having to be alone again was alleviated. 

As soon as everybody was lying down comfortably, Garnet tentatively pulled Steven closer, resting her chin on the top of his head while keeping him nestled warm under the blankets. His face burrowed into the comforting warmth, and as his eyes closed again, the fusion’s voice spoke gently to him, “Thank you for talking about those things. I know those feelings were really tender.” As she paused, Steven‘s ears perked up as he heard Amethyst shape-shift into a cat again, settling down on the extra quilts by his feet. Garnet continued, “It’s very healthy to talk about your feelings—even when they’re painful or uncomfortable—instead of avoiding or ignoring them. And I’m glad you trust us enough to talk so freely and openly about those things.” 

Pearl shifted under the covers, having never really slept a whole lot before, with the exception of that one night when Garnet was out searching for Lapis. But she listened in on the fusion’s words and added her own thoughts. “My heart aches knowing just how much pain you’re in. I know it’s hard right now, Steven, I know... I’m so sorry.” She turned to face towards him and the fusion, a hand resting softly on his shoulder. “But that’s why we’re here. We’re going to help you, Steven. We’re not going anywhere, okay? We’re going to get through this. It’ll be alright. I know I’ve said these things already, but I really, really need you to know that, Steven. We’re here with you.” 

“We’re gonna be right by your side no matter what, remember?” Amethyst smiled lightly, although it was difficult to fully portray such an expression through her cat form. “You were there for us, so now, it’s our turn to be there for you. You don’t gotta worry, bud.” 

“It feels apparent to me,” Pearl continued, “that... talking through... that’s what helps you process a lot of your thoughts and feelings. That’s what helps you to feel better. So tomorrow... I would like for us to talk about this again with you... if you’re open to that.” 

Steven opened his eyes again, though it really couldn’t be seen with his face burrowed into Garnet’s chest. He slightly shifted his head to acknowledge he was listening, blinking slightly to try and ease the sensitivity in his eyes, which had been squeezed dry of any moisture. The suggestion of talking again was both intimidating and... highly anticipated. He was so scared of talking, and it made him feel so awful and ashamed, and yet it gave him such an extensive relief, both physically and mentally—especially when he cried. He had been avoiding serious discussions for such a long time, but maybe... maybe talking wasn’t such a bad thing, after all. 

“I wouldn’t mind that.” 

He didn’t have to see them to know they were all smiling in response. The aura of relief and proudness radiating from them was enough to know they were very much happy. Of course they were happy to know he’d be willing to talk again. If it meant providing a safe space for him to vent and heal, they were exceedingly excited. Pearl was already planning it in her head as she rolled on her back to gaze up at the ceiling, analysing how the rest of their day would play out after breakfast. 

Garnet kept her arms snug around him, one hand smoothing his back and the other cradling his head. “I want you to talk lots and lots,” she confessed with a smile, “but right now, it’s time for bed.” 

“Please rest easy tonight, Steven.” Pearl glanced over to him again, her voice gentle. “If you need anything, please don’t be afraid to wake us up. We’ll be right here.” 

Amethyst laid her head down and closed her eyes. “Just think about how good that breakfast’s gonna be, dude. Like, some huge chocolate chip pancakes with a whole load of syrup. Then, you can dream about pancakes until you have them tomorrow.” 

Pearl chuckled lightly. “Well, don’t make him starving all night, Amethyst.” 

“Nah, it’s not starving. It’s anticipating.” 

The two snickered at each other for a few, eventually quieting down again as a brief silence hung over the room—and not a bad silence, either. This one was much lighter than any other silence that fell on them this evening. If anything, the atmosphere was just perfect. Perhaps even better than earlier. In that moment, Steven just felt so... happy. Maybe temporarily, but he still felt it. Having his family there, smiling and joking together, talking and discussing so genuinely; it all gave him such an immense feeling of security and warmth. He loved this. All these months of isolation and loneliness—and this feeling of warmth and love was... always right here. And maybe it was hard to reach before, but now? He had it. He was holding it, he was experiencing it. He was feeling an emotion he hadn’t quite felt in a long, long time. An emotion he’d felt when he played video games, or built sand castles, or sat on a tire swing. Feelings of hope, joy and comfort.

“We love you, Steven,” Garnet reassured. It was the firm statement to cut the silence, and it warmed Steven’s heart. They loved him. They were there. He wasn’t alone. He just knew now that everything would be alright. It would take time, of course. But it would be alright again. He didn’t have to fight this battle alone. He never had to. And it wasn’t shameful to need a hand to hold. His family was there, and they didn’t care how big or small his problems were—they were /there/. He was going to be okay. He was going to be alright. 

He sank deep into his family’s comfort. And for the final time that night, Steven closed his eyes. 

“I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you’re all recovering well after the finale, and I hope if you aren’t, maybe this story was a bit of comfort.
> 
> Stay safe out there!


End file.
